Things ALMOST As Good As Sex
And much safer during the pandemic.
If you’ve ever indulged in an extra decadent piece of cheesecake, then you understand that some moments are almost as good as sex. Such strong feelings can leave you moaning out loud in the Cheesecake Factory, while the mom in the next booth over covers her child’s ears.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
In this new world of navigating Tinder hookups without contracting a supervirus, consider settling for safer options.
Here are some things that are almost as good, and much less awkward than banging with a mask on.
A back massage that lasts longer than 4 minutes before the reach-around.
Showering in a freshly cleaned bathtub.
The second time you ever use a bidet.
Not having to share your favorite food. Because you’re eating it in the bathtub.
The 15 seconds that the brownie is still hot, but the ice cream on top hasn’t melted yet.
Soap carving videos.
Waking up in the morning and your stomach feeling abnormally flat.
Short chapters in a novel which make you feel really smart for being able to finish a chapter so quickly.
