The only thing more fitting of 2020 than contracting Covid right before Christmas was contracting Covid two weeks before I received my first vaccination dose. I almost made it.
Even more ironic is my own opinion that I’m probably the most cautious person I know when it comes to the virus.
I follow the rules. I wear a mask, obsessively wash my hands, and have seen only a select few people in “close” contact. But a supervirus doesn’t care about my self-awarded Most Careful title.
Let it be known that the most frequent thing I uttered in that last week…
I was one of many boarding school kids that assumed I was there because my parents didn’t want to raise me.
The actual truth may not be that harsh, but nevertheless, the school took their role of overbearing parent seriously. They made every effort to remove all ways for us teenagers to express ourselves. No blue hair, no jewelry, not even fun socks with patterns were allowed.
Still, we managed to find the one circumstance they had a hard time enforcing a uniform, and that was church. …
If you’ve ever indulged in an extra decadent piece of cheesecake, then you understand that some moments are almost as good as sex. Such strong feelings can leave you moaning out loud in the Cheesecake Factory, while the mom in the next booth over covers her child’s ears.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
In this new world of navigating Tinder hookups without contracting a supervirus, consider settling for safer options.
Here are some things that are almost as good, and much less awkward than banging with a mask on.
A back massage that lasts longer than 4 minutes…
Businesses are struggling to open their doors after Covid-19 restrictions ease because their employees aren’t ready to come back to work. People want to stay home and collect unemployment.
Up until the end of July, when the extra $600 a week ended, many Americans were making more money sitting at home and crocheting than they previously were standing on their feet for 8+ hours a day.
I was one of those people.
Are we the reason the republicans briefly tried to reject the CARES act? Did they give us too much money? …
“This is never going to work,” I thought when I learned he didn’t have a passport. How would we walk hand in hand through white-washed villages in Greece?
We clearly had different priorities if he hadn’t put in the effort to see the world before now. Still, I really liked him, and badly wanted him to get bitten by the travel bug so we could live happily ever after.
For Christmas, I gave him a handsome passport-holder enclosed with a post-it note indicating his appointment time to get his first passport.
There was also a sassy sidebar that explained how…
Two houses and one whole apartment complex down the street, I can still hear them. The high pitched WOOOO’s break my concentration, although I feel like I should be used to it and able to tune it out by now.
I melodramatically roll my eyes because that’s all I can do.
Working from home in a global pandemic is hard when people are still determined to have fun. How dare they! How am I supposed to organize my soap collection with all this ruckus going on?
“A woo girl is the type of young woman who, like the cuckoobird or…
Surprise! Your ‘faults’ can be a good thing.
You are most likely one of two types of people.
Or maybe both of these sound familiar.
Either way, we all tend to blame human kind for the bad things in the world, whether it be the fault of others or ourselves, and it’s most likely because whatever shortcoming they possess is messing it all up.
You might be familiar with Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages — a theory that lasting love stems from doing the things that make your partner feel loved.
The different (less fun) ones that people identify with are:
This is great n’ all, but they left mine out.
Pranks are my love language.
I mean, not exactly, because I don’t need them reciprocated to feel appreciated (although all-out prank wars ARE fun). Rather, they are how I show my love.
My roommate and dearest friend Dana loves…
My dear friend Beth is going through a painful divorce. Her husband of over a decade has done and said some very painful things. One of the ways he controls her is by attempting to isolate her from her support systems, which includes me.
Luckily, she’s too smart to let him control her to that degree and still fills me in on all the details.
Those details include why he “doesn’t like” every single person in her life and why she shouldn’t either.
I’m not offended by mine — it’s quite comical. He doesn’t like me because I’m vegan.
Like many of you, I hesitate to say that I’m a writer when someone asks me what I do.
“Only a small chunk of my income is from writing, so I can’t possibly deserve to claim the title.”
I’m also tired of answering the same ole’ questions. I’m tired of finding responses to inquiries of what I write about when I write about everything. Hell, sometimes I don’t even know what I write about.
It annoys me when people ask how I could possibly make money off of being creative. …